santo ka ba o santita…then read this

When we got this email forwarded from our HR manager, taas kilay yung dalawang kasamahan kong itim na lokal akala nila sila na pinatamaan. Eh kasi naman kahit mga lola na, hindi pwedeng magsalita na walang fuck at shit. Casual lang sa kanila ang ganung conversation. Imagine hearing them everyday…kaya ang epekto sa akin pagkausap ko na sila, instead of saying “give me that thing, give me that shit” na ang pagkasabi ko.

It turned out na forwarded message lang din pala sa HR manager namin.  Sa tingin ko kahit anong pangaral, wala ng magpabago sa kanilang pagsasalita parang part of culture na kasi nila yung pagmumura. Sabi pa ng isang lola sa akin, ang boring daw ng conversation at di nila totally ma express yung gusto nilang sabihin pag sundin nila yung suggested phrases.

Kaya kayo kung sawa na sa pagiging prim and proper at gustong maramdaman ang salitang kanto in english pagbaligtarin nyo nalang ang mga suggested phrases..hehh

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative ‘TRY SAYING’ phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She’s an agg ressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She’s a fucking bitch.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be shittiing me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with…
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It’s not my fucking problem.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That’s interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won’t work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the fuck didn’t you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his ass.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren’t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I’m on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don’t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up you r ass.

N umber 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This fucking job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the fuck died and made you boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He’s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He’s a prick.

Thank You,
Human Resources